Thursday, May 13, 2010

Untitled

I wonder why....I sit and cry/
Wish I could share all my tears/
I'm down and out..I'll keep it moving/ 
And try to get out/
I don't know how to move on/
Where I went wrong/ 
Wish I could live with no fears/
I'm so down and out...I'll keep on moving/
And try to get out/
Somehow...../ 
Diary - Wale ft. Marsha Ambrosius



How do you want me?


May I ask…I choose to let go…from which something you choose the grasp


If it’s your idea of a test…there’s no possible way to pass


If the resentment in your heart towards me…preserves to last


You choose to tell me…how I feel about the past


But unless you’re in my head….how dare you walk that path


You don’t know how many times…I sat sleepless in my bed


And how that same bad decision…torments me in my head


But what can I do?


Nothing I say will make it right


So I chose to find a way….to make it through the night


I don’t claim to know what you’re going through…but you choose to play the victim


Our misery is a sickness…but I choose to ignore the symptoms


Am I wrong…somehow I neglected to see the signs


I’m trying to press forward….but your thoughts are on rewind


You’re lashing out at me…as if it’s something I shouldn’t speak on


The fact that we defer…is the only thing that we agree on


And never would I fault you…for not being the same


But I choose to not dwell on…the things that I couldn’t change


As a man…I can only empathize with the pain that you have dealt with


And my apology wouldn’t help it…so in turn I remain helpless


So instead you take aim…I choose to take blame


How from crying could you refrain….if and still you feel the pain


Partly insane….against my will I feel the same


No part of my neo soul…would stop these bullets of my shame


And even now I’m left with questions from your intentions


If the smallest parts of your stomach turn…when my name is merely mentioned


If every whisper and glimpse of me…holds a level of discontent


Then why subject yourself to such anguish…by presenting yourself in my presence


I pray that God mends the wounds…that I myself wish I could


That any doctor should…and eventually time would


At least I hope so….


To be 100% honest I don’t know


So I jot down all the pain…that you claim I don’t show


In turn....your own emotions have divided and conquered your better being


Thus leaving me behind enemy lines…unable to find a new alliance worth believing


A new happiness worth receiving…blocked by your now sarcastic overtone


Possible reasons why…no matter who you align with…you still feel so alone


And the seclusion that you cling to...is only a temporary fix to a more serious problem


One that if not addressed…can continually fester without solving


If the negativity in your heart…finds an origin in me


Then I suggest you move on…though it may lack in simplicity


I say that realistically…if you can’t find solace in forgiving me


Then just maybe in forgetting me…your heart will find tranquility


I’ll let it live…if you let it be…I only pray for your peace of mind


And if our paths never again intertwine…I’ll settle for peace in mine


Your life….my love….your happiness to lose


My heart…your peace…no longer my choice….you choose -


Syncere




To Her:  to be honest i wish we ended on a better note...but i honestly don't know what else i can do...it seems like you wanna continue to beat me as well as yourself up about something that happened in the past...i swear on everything that i could change my decision that day but i cant...nor can you...so i find that dwelling on it...only makes you miserable...i pray that eventually you'll be able to look in the mirror without hating the person thats staring back at you...and i know thats easier said than done...but i truly pray that you find a way because if not you'll never be happy...alone...or with anybody else....it may seem like it doesn't bother me on the outside...but truthfully i fight with it everyday....but i can't nor will i let that dictate my future...instead i choose to take it as a lesson learned...and i pray that you'll one day be able to do the same...i would never ask you to forget that situation...because i don't think i ever will...i can even live with the fact that you cant forgive me...but i do hope you find it in your heart to forgive yourself....this world has too many haters already...so it doesn't help for you to hate yourself...i remember telling you to remove the negativity from your heart...and i truthfully mean that....even if its me....i don't wanna think like this...but if i'm the source of all your pain....than i suggest you cut me off...i never would want to have a negative effect on anybody especially you....in the end i just want you to be happy...with or without me in the picture...i still love you...and i always will - Syncere