Dark N' Lovely

Everything that I am….I’ve had to be twice of who they are…..for everywhere they have been….I’ve had to travel twice as far…only to arrive at the same destination….twice as spent….jealousy???...never that….but excuse me while I vent….they look at me with a certain level of discontent…within their eyes…and so I walk…with an extra dose of swagger in my thighs…for them to lay witness…I should charge them a price….yea my switch game is mean….my shoe game…nice!....my hairs always right….while not long…its authentic…it’s a complement of my skin tone….and none of it is rented…so while the rest of the world is trying to imply…I’m insufficient….I move with grace…even making mistakes…as if I meant it…overwhelmed with confidence…there’s an assurance within my hue…being darker…has made me stronger…evident from what I’ve been through….my own personal hell…the hurdles I had to overcome…as many times as I’ve been grilled…if they were cooking…I’d be done….Still I Rise…like Maya Angelou…I’ve managed to get past it…yet this world seems to look at me…as if I come with an asterisk….phenomenal in every way… but fair skin….is what they prefer…as if mine…was somehow unfair…and bad luck has occurred….but “au contraire mon frère” …I am nobodies plan B….unless B stands for “Beautiful”….now to that…I’ll agree…they can play blind now…..but eventually they’ll see….I’m giving them no choice…cause I’m not changing for anybody…my demeanor has been designed for my own personal protection….cause no offense…but every Berry is not Halle’s complexion….yet and still….they haven’t noticed…while they were staring at my features…that if I’m that much darker….then I’m that much sweeter…I’m divine…sublime…like the sun…I WILL SHINE…their non-acceptance is like my shadow…I have left it all behind…my shade is just fine…I’ve already passed the test….this world’s a Neapolitan variety…I’ve just as much flavor as the rest…it’s sad….but society has a distorted version of clarity….if you’re not light…you’re not right…unless of course your charity….I’m not pretty…“for a dark girl”…..IM PRETTY….I’m a smart girl….I am no longer an addition…I’m a standard…this is “our” world…I’m a star…I’m a diva…exotic…a crowd- pleaser…a inspirer…an up-lifter…a message to all dark-skinned sisters…if this world has neglected you…shunned…and disrespected you….don’t get mad…get even…in a way that only you can do…simply smile within their ignorance…because for them it’s been the usual…recite these words exactly…start with…"I am beautiful…my words are Dark N’ Lovely….my curves are Dark N’ Lovely…you’re not only gonna see me…chances are....you’re gonna love me…no longer can you look at me…as if you haven’t heard of me…besides God himself….trust…there’s none above me….a sensual goddess by myself…but a perfect complement to any man…I am dark skin and loving it….Dark N’ Lovely…that I am" - Syncere

Dedicated to: Sherice, Kerri, Paula,  Kim, Kiara

Note: I wrote this poem off of the premise....that every one can get something out of it....it's not just meant for dark skin sisters...it's meant for anyone....who's been told they dont belong...are not wanted...or their not good enough...as someone else because of how they look...or who they are....no one should feel that they arent sufficient...compared to someone else...you shouldnt feel that you need to change something about yourself to be accepted by society....make them accept you for who you are....and if they refuse to...keep it moving without them...cause chances are...you don't need them anyway - Syncere

Broken Thoughts

Current thoughts coincide with the simple fact that I'm now human

Every thought processed on u...rivals the sanity I'm now losing

I thought love...only turned its back..on those that abused it

Evidently proven wrong...I find myself wondering why people would even choose it

Its a fixed game to lose...a contradiction to all the rules

No exemption from redemption...now I play the fool

How can two people agree to be...only to later never speak

Together 5 years strong....yet communication....ever so weak

As for myself...unsure...a tad bit insecure

My lost product of affection...unprepared for what's in-store

Wantin to know what for....closure that seems to evade me

Questions that should've been asked...answers that couldn't explain me

The only reason I remain me.....my surface..calm and collected

Inside feeling neglected.....those feelings...so unexpected

Unhealed remains the wounds...severed goes a broken heart

Tears over lost causes...unfamiliar to a joyous start

Yet from screaming I refrain...though unbearable the pain

Plagued by selfish thoughts...hoping you would feel the same

Wanting to move on...but time...stands still

Claiming to wait for no man...though for misery...it will

Optimistic...I should be....a new chapter can begin

Pessimistic I am thee....already proof-reading to the end

Lonely though not alone....straightforward emotions...now misguided

Wanting to dial the phone...opposite notions now one-sided

Repeatedly I deny it......relentless the assault

Multiple attackers...each agreeing…..I'm at fault

Mirrors that I break…done for my own protection

Not bi-polar....but tri-polar…three different reflections

Each with its own persona…each with its own opinion

None with the desired result…so to none…I pay attention

And none I bother to mention….our bond…already broken

A reaper of what I sowed….our fate…already woven

Our path already chosen….facts I now must face

That you…are no longer here…so no longer shall I chase

No longer shall I hurt….no longer shall it ache

If no longer you’ll remain…than no longer shall I wait

A new one…stands before me…someone who’s assured me

Plagued by your memory…though she somewhat…has cured me

Relieved that she’s endured me….no matter how hard the task

Then why can’t I accept her….”why?” oh “why?”….I ask

What am I afraid of….why can’t I let go

How can I say I love her…why can’t I fully show

If ever…will I know?.....never will I say

Though opportunity knocks…never will it stay

And never shall it may…you…I thank for such

Recycled are my thoughts… retracted is my trust

Resurrected are my demons….wondering if it will end

Insomniac…no longer dreaming….reality sets in

My heart somewhat divided…most....resides with you

So never could I give her…what I have given you

Damage already done…my wounds remaining open

My heart going untamed….my thoughts remaining…broken - Syncere


Note: i had a lot of thoughts in my head when i initially broke up with my ex....but i noticed that every time i thought about it....my thoughts and feelings never fully came out....instead they kind of crossed over each other....thats why at times this poem may seem like its all over the place....but thats because every thought i had in my head...was broken by another thought...hence the name "Broken Thoughts"...i tried to make it as straightforward as possible...because honestly the rough draft is really all over the place....nevertheless...hope you like! - Syncere

Coming Soon!!

Death of Me 2: Best of Me

The Hustle

ToKnight or Not ToKnight

Death of Me 3: Left of Me

Dark 'N Lovely

Pray

For every prayer… I pray that he can hear me…and no matter how much I digress…I pray that he walks near me….my visions often blurry…praying I see thee more clearly…at night I pray for better days….others look for a route to easy street…. I only pray for a better way….to give...to receive…to live….to be…me….appreciative of my syncerity….praying that I never change….but if I must…I pray karma brings me full circle…so I somehow remain the same….my friends think I'm too serious…they pray that I lighten up…I pray that they look deeper…or at least deep enough….enough to make contact…for more lies beyond the surface…that they’ve only begun to scratch…praying I can enlighten them…I only offer a piece of mind…Jesus once prayed for his enemies… I pray that I can one day pray for mine…I pray that I can one day forgive those who have forsaken me….for they may not know of what they’ve done…and to those who have yet to….I pray to make them irrelevant before they’ve even had a chance to begun…praying against thoughts of retaliation…praying for divine manifestation…my parallel unconsciousness praying for a defined revelation....I’ve never walked upon the sand…somehow I still managed to get stuck…there were no footprints to make note of…I know you’ve picked me up….and so I thank you for my joys…I pray upon my sorrows…life’s not promised….so I’ll pray…to pray tomorrow…praying that I minimize future mistakes…and in spite of my previous prayer…I’ll pray towards forgiveness…for those I’ll continue to make…currently my prayers reside with those affected lately…the sickly…the poor…and those affected in Haiti…praying for whom I don’t know…but whom may continue to struggle…I pray they continue to move forward no matter how much they continue to stumble…praying that they understand the difference between being intercepted… as to when they fumble….and even if they recover victoriously…I pray they remain humble….as I pray to do the same…never overlooking the fact that…..I too…have been blessed….though I will never grow content with the knowledge I possess…as well I shouldn’t…for the answers I seek transcends beyond the flesh….questions I promise to keep….until the arrival of my final breathe…until that day…I’ll try to grasp what remains out of my intellectual reach…..praying that what I choose to believe in…is actually worth my belief…praying to withhold faith in anything that stands against them…I could pray…but its beyond my comprehension…as to why they chose to torment him…was the price of his shortcomings…worth our humanly gain???...praying to see the bigger picture that as of right now I couldn’t frame…wanting to disagree...I refrain…though mentally outspoken I’ll pray to stay my tongue…victimized by verbal dyslexia…sometimes what I mean differentiates from the words that may come…and even so…I’m praying not to do so…if only to preserve someone’s feelings of defeat….knowing that if I deliver them constructively…they can later grow off of being critiqued…praying that in return truth is the only language that they’ll speak….if and when I turn towards them….questioning their feelings about me…and from there answers just maybe…I’ll find some sort of stability….a contradiction…as I pray to never look towards others for validity…and for that very reason…I remain extremely thankful for my mother….for helping me understand why I feel stronger alone than when I’m accompanied by others….praying to continue to stand alone…when the situation suites me…and that my uniqueness stands out…so that I no longer have to speak…for the quality to shine through me….I pray that one day…I am understood in my entirety…and if not…I pray that they do not judge…but rather admire me…knowing that I’ve coincided with my inner demons…not for camaraderie….but to take that which affects me the most….and use it to inspire me….to do better…although that same inspiration has driven me ever closer to the ledge…suicidal thoughts…but prayer has kept me from going over the edge…and though appearing to be alone…I’ve found a teammate with a higher meaning…praying that my emotionless demeanor …can be screened to portray my better being…although I am only what you made me…I’ve been given more than my fair share….praying to retain only what you gave me….knowing that for the rest I shouldn’t care….knowing those things will never last up…so I pray to subtract myself from situations….that at first glance…don’t seem to add up….cautious of what by your eyes…may be viewed a syn….praying for a birds-eye view…to notice what’s actually happening within…I have come to you now…I’ll return to you again….the devil is relentless…extremely desperate for a win….merciless his wrath….and so I’ll pray to no end…as so I pray that you understand…if I do not say “Amen” - Syncere